Yesterday, at Starbucks on Broadway...

I try to ignore my depression. It is definitely there. Nothing really excites me. I am always "tired". I am actively chasing online gender porn. I am barely functional. Sources for my continued depression are my joblessness and my continuing to live in the closet. I am the one who needs to act to deal with both poisons. This weekend is an arbitrary jumping-off event. Tim is getting married.. I "needed" to be off work so I can participate in Tim's wedding [I'm the best "man"] and I couldn't come out or leave Pam before because I would not tolerate Pam and I being topics at Tim's wedding. The Problem is... after the wedding, will I really act on finding work? Will I finally finally finally! come out an be myself?

The police and Shannon

Last week, coming home from my meeting, a cop pulled up behind me. I immediately went to speed limit - 5, and stayed straight and narrow [or as straight as I ever get]. I came up to the next big light and Mr. Policeman was still right behind me. There was another cop in the left turn lane going the other way. I pulled through the intersection and I saw all these blue lights behind me, so I pulled over in a parking lot and fished out my I.D. My driver’s license has not yet been changed to reflect my new realities *sigh*.

The police officer took my I.D. and told me the ball hitch on my truck was obscuring my license plate. That was a first! He went back to his patrol car and a little while later came back with my registration and my insurance card. Hmmmmm... Now in a sense I’ve been here before. There is a man in my county with exactly the same name as my male name and .he. .is. .not. .a. .nice. .man. I’ve been pulled over by the police before looking for him. When we went to pay off our house, there was a lien on it for back child support for this guy. So, I figure this is another case of “do we got the right person?”

I think he figured it out pretty quickly. After a few minutes the SECOND cop comes up to me returning my driver’s license! What’s goin’ on here? After they drove off, I think I figured it out. They both wanted to see the tranny! Ah well, It’s a common occurrence [or at least a common fear] in a transgender’s journey to get pulled over by the police as yourself but with the “old“ I.D. Now, I’ve had mine.