Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ocean Shores Getaway

Earlier in the day, I was really unhappy and very shaken [not stirred!] by the way things started.  I thought I had everything ready to go and we popped on to I-90, headed over to I-5 South.  About Boeing Field, we realized I had forgotten all my meds and insulin.  We turned back.  There was just no going through the weekend without my insulin =(  I  found my meds, tossed them [literally] in the car and we were on our way!  A little south of Tacoma, we figured out that I left my purse, drivers license, and cards at home!  Let's see... the word "consternation" comes to mind but it is several magnitudes short of how I felt about leaving things behind like that.  We got off the freeway to turn around, not knowing the exit we took only went to one gate or another of Joint Base Lewis McChord (JBLM). And there were no places to turn around short of the gate!  The security there was not happy to see us.  All we wanted to do was turn around!  After a while they finally got that and figured the easiest thing was to let us turn around, so, again!, we're on our way home.  Debra made me stop before we got back on the freeway and tell her what we were going to do; she didn't want me to be more upset and scatter-brained about what the plan was.  Bless Her!  By myself I would have been just ... not a nice person to myself.  As it was I was less than ecstatic.  We decided it was late enough to go to dinner after we got back to get my purse and we decided to go to Jak's in Issaquah.  We got seated and made our order and I remembered to go back to the car to get my insulin,  Only... only I couldn't find it.  I was sure I'd put it in!  It had to be there but.. well, it had been a very confusing afternoon and maybe I just somehow forgot.  But with the confusion and the forgetting and the last 6 weeks of first a stroke and then a trip to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack [turned out to be taking my meds on a stomach too full of alcohol] I was thinking long and hard about dementia and Alzheimer's.  Debra was upset, too.  She worries I don't take good care of myself [and she's right] and that something bad to fatal might happen.  I have always joked that if I get Alzheimer's no one would notice the difference.  Suddenly that doesn't seem so funny.  I am near tears and I am definitely not a nice person to myself.  I calm down and the evening is good.  We head back one more time to my apartment to see if I can find the insulin.  We eventually find it and it _was_ in the CuRVe, just somehow hidden under a seat.
We got back on the road again and cruise to Ocean Shores -- the traffic had all thinned out and the roads were clear. Debra puts on some music from her iPhone and she's playing with her new 'droid tablet.  After a bit she pulls up the fleece blanket and goes to sleep.  It's a Grace thing that Poppa lets me watch my baby sleep. 
I would never in a million years have thought being a Mom would seem so natural to me.  Debra is my Daughter in every way but blood. If there was a way to make that happen...  
I wake her by accident a couple times --I'm praying for her a little louder than I should and she woke up thinking I'd said something to her.  She goes back to sleep. After a bit I look over and the blanket has fallen off her shoulder.  I look back at the road, then back at her and I pull the blanket up and tuck her in a little better. And choke up a little. 
I missed the turn toward Ocean Shores in Hoquim that I knew I would miss because I missed it two years ago.  We pull into the Shiloh Inn in Ocean Shores about 11:30. It was a very long day, but we were there. 
We slept in some, or I slept in; I'm not sure Debra slept as late as she wanted. We had breakfast and walked out to the tourist shops and were tourists. We went into Sharkies and both of us picked out identical beach towels without knowing, hers in purple [of course!] and Mom's in teal.  We struggled to stay out of the fudge shop and thoroughly enjoyed the kite shop. My girl picked out a very cute fairy Princess kite. Mom kinda ran out of gas and we went back to the hotel to let her catch her breath so to speak. We had checked out another kite shop for me but after my, um, nap we went back to the first shop and I "compromised" on a kite that was teal and purple [there's a theme here]. We walked through the dunes to the beach and began flying our kites. Debra was so enjoying herself that the little girl in her was shining through!  Flying my kite, I felt like a young girl, too. We had a beautiful time.
Something Debra and I have done on another trip is to find a nice restaurant, get dressed up to the nines, and have an special evening out. Saturday night we went to the Collins Inn and Seaside Cottages.  It was more than I had ever expected!  Very nice, very high class, a man playing piano for the guests, and the chef preparing the food in a home style kitchen where the guests could watch. Debra ordered champagne and I decided to copy her. Seems like she's always having these great ideas that I follow up on. We ordered our dinners. Somehow, I missed that it was a full four-course dinner.  We made our order and they served a delicious dark bread.  I looked at my Daughter and asked if I could make a toast?  We raised our glasses and I toasted "To Us!"  Out came a very delicious salad with straberries and and a strawberry vinegarette, follwed by a bowl of excellent clam chowder!  Debra ordered a cheese-stuffed breast of chicken  and garlic mashed-potatoes and that came next.  I ordered a lobster tail that came with a couple of scallops encased in bacon and a medalion of some other seafood and a baked potato.  Both dishes came with asparagus really done well.  Debra saw someone doing something flambé across the room from us and wanted to see that for herself.  It was a Banana's dish.  We both ordered it.  It was wonderful to watch and it tasted ... mmmmm ... excelent!  
While we waited for our bill, I noticed a very wistful, almost sad expression on my Daughter's face.  Here we were in this beautiful, romantic setting and she was with her mom and not with her boyfriend.  She was missing him bad.  To be honest, I was a bit jealous, but I couldn't hold on to it very long.  She is young and in love for probably the first time in her life.  The old should move on and the new should take its rightful place.  It's something I struggle with a lot.  I have to let her go, let her grow up and have her new life.  I've lived most of mine and it's her turn now.  But it's hard.  I have more people, family, that I love now than before, so I canna say she is all I have.  But... I lived, I had some moments before I came out and met her... but my life since Poppa brought us together has been so much more full and so much more wonderful and so much more real!  She says it works both ways -- that she has received from me an equal measure...[choke]... I really don't know how that can be.
Sunday, we took our time getting up and getting out.  We had breakfast at the Hotel and then it was on the road again.  Traffic coming home was really good!  We pulled into my place around 2-2:30.  We loaded up her car with her stuff, hugged and I gave her a kiss-onna-cheek and she was gone.
I went over to Lisa's for Easter dinner -- a casual thng, just hanging out with good friends.  Johanna was there and I got a long hug.  I needed it.  I was going through Debra-withdrawals.  Emotionally, it seemed like I was a quart shy most of the evening.  Lisa and Johanna put on the latest Muppet movie and I finally got happy.  Who canna smile at a muppet movie!
Debra and I are planning another trip this summer.  She's wanted to go to Bend and tour the brewery where they brew Black Butte Porter, one of her [and mine since she introduced me to it] favorite beers.  It will be hot and definitely sunny and I expect it to be fun.  It is always fun for me when I'm with my Daughter, Debra.

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