Saturday, November 14, 2009
"My Journey is my Own"
When I read the latest blog from SisterFriendsTogether, the concept of “The Journey is My own” and “I live and breathe for an audience of One” really caught my interest. I canna speak for everyone newly out as I am, but it seems, for _me_, That ’till I decided to be out, to live my life fulltime, to live my life someplace else than online, to live authentically, I had been living my life the way everyone thought I should. I had been living and breathing for an audience of everyone but the One. There is a so much peace and joy in living authentically, but it has had a price. In choosing to walk my own journey, My wife and children have decided they canna walk with me anymore. What they really resent is that I am not walking with them as they think I should.
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So true Shannon.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has sarcastically remarked to me "If you'd just do what they want you to do or live how they want you to live...everything would be fine...."
While my story is certainly different from yours, I am still reminded of something in my own history. When I first was admitted to an inpatient hospital program for intensive therapy to help me deal with the abuse I had survived in my childhood, my mom turned to her sisters and brother for support, a shoulder to lean on. One aunt told her "That's all in the past. Why doesn't she just get over it and move on?" She wasn't able to walk with me or with my mom. She didn't understand the value in dredging up all the bad memories, working through all the issues- so that I could become my own authentic self.
ReplyDeleteVastly different circumstances but, I think, similar feelings.
Hearing about this is painful for me. My own marriage has endured, yet there is so much to overcome, if it can be overcome. I'm so sorry they couldn't see that the beautiful authentic you is the you you've always been. An audience of One is what really counts,and I'm thankful I don't set expectations for more than that.
ReplyDeleteOn the journey of transition, one must gauge what's the better path; finding support from new friends, people at your place of work, from yourself to find solace and inner peace.
ReplyDeleteIt's very difficult, my marriage fell apart, my sons won't speak to me; but I have found support from wonderful people who do care and I am happy.
Sarah