I catch myself, sometimes, thinking about how I see my world around me. It occurs to me that I see a lot of my world the same as when I looked through these eyes and thought I was a man. The feeling is that nothing has really changed in me. At first that disappoints me. I think that how can I be a woman, really? I see things the same as before when I was a man. And I do see things very much the same. So what's different? Where is the mismatch, the discontinuation? The people who know me now cannot imagine me ever having been a man. They experience me, my nature and spirit as a woman. And I wonder, if I am a woman now and nothing has really changed in how I see, does that mean I was a woman before? A woman trying to make life work living as a man? There is a great deal in my life that I have revisited and much of what I did makes more sense from a woman's point of view. I just have a hard time accepting that I was a woman even then. I wanted to be a girl, but I never thought of myself as a girl. And maybe the wanting wasn't a needful thing, because I already was a girl.